abridged version
Be considerate of your partner and the surrounding dancers, and have fun! Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!
long version
- What should I wear to the dance?
Swing dances generally have flexible dress codes. You won’t be out of place going casual or dressing up. Wear comfortable clothing that you’ll be able to move and sweat in all night and a pair of indoor/clean shoes that won’t leave dirt or marks on the dance floor. High heals are generally not the best shoes for swing dancing.
Both leads and follows should move sharp objects to their left pocket. Leads should remove their watch or anything else that might poke the follows’ back or catch their hair.
- What should I bring to the dance?
If you sweat, a towel, an extra shirt, and deodorant are all good ideas, as is some kind of breath freshener. You might also want to bring water, unless you are dancing at a business establishment like a bar or restaurant—in which case, buy a drink to support the venue.
- Should I bring a dance partner?
You can if you like, but it’s absolutely unnecessary for normal dance events and lessons. Most people go by themselves.
- Should women ask men to dance?
Absolutely. Men like being asked to dance too, and asking someone to dance does not mean that you’re attracted to them and want to go out with them.
- Who do I dance with?
It’s okay for beginners to ask more experienced dancers! Swing dancers usually dance with someone for a single song and find another partner for the next one so as not to monopolize another dancer. Remember to thank your partner after the dance. It’s generally a good idea to accept dances from everyone and to ask different people to dance. This is more of an advice than a rule. Think of it as building your dance karma. However, if you have good reason to decline a dance, feel free to do so.
- What are some good reasons for declining a dance?
Some good reasons for declining a dance include (but are not limited to): I’m tired and taking a break; I don’t like this song; this song is too fast/slow; I’m already taken for this song. If you decline a dance with someone you want to dance with again, it would be nice, but not necessary, to search them out during another song. It would be considered rude after declining a dance to accept one from someone else during the same song.
There are some situations where you might not want to dance with the person again: for example, if you’re afraid of getting hurt because of the way the person dances or if the person makes you uncomfortable in any way. If you really don’t want to dance with a particular person, it’s probably best not to make up an excuse, as that may only encourage them. Sometimes, “no, thank you” is the best answer, even if it has to be repeated.
- What about inappropriate behaviour on the dance floor?
When it comes to body contact, everyone has different comfort levels and boundaries. What’s okay with one partner may be inappropriate with another, depending on the dancers and their familiarity with each other. Besides the contact of normal dance positions, there’s nothing you have to do just because you’re swing dancing. Trust your instincts. Depending on the type of behaviour, your response might range from a physical or verbal correction (e.g., “I’m not comfortable dancing this close,” or “Please don’t do that again. It hurts/makes me uncomfortable.”) to walking off the dance floor and reporting the incident to organizers.
Inappropriate behaviour on the dance floor is rare because word gets around in the swing dance scene—offenders would quickly find themselves with no one to dance with.
- Should I apologize for making a mistake?
Oftentimes, beginners judge themselves harshly when they dance with more experienced dancers. Try to think of social dancing as a sort of improv game where there really are no mistakes and the main purpose is to entertain each other and have fun. Mistakes make the dance more unpredictable and entertaining, and occasionally mistakes turn into cool new moves! Apologies are only needed if you hurt your partner or—if you’re a lead—fail to prevent your partner from colliding with surrounding dancers. Accidents do inevitably happen, especially on crowded dance floors, so there’s no need to fret. A quick apology to your partner and an acknowledgment to the other couple will suffice.
If you think your partner made a mistake, don’t be quick to judge. Rarely are mistakes entirely the fault of a single person. Giving unsolicited criticism or advice while social dancing is not recommended (unless your partner is hurting you).
- What about those cool throwing and flipping moves?
Do not attempt aerials while social dancing. You will endanger yourself, your partner, and the dancers around you. Most aerials are performed by couples who have have practised them with each other and who have learned to do them safely from professionals; and they are performed only in competitions, performances, and jams.
- What about the band?
Music is always a vital part of the dance. When there’s live music at an event, the band is more important than anything else. Don’t take them for granted. Make sure to show your appreciation by applauding at the end of each song.
